Allow. This is my word for the month and so far, it’s proving to be a challenge. Last night the kids were both in bed early… and despite having a mountain of work that needed to be done, I sat down on the couch and read a book. I kept saying to myself that it was okay. That I’m allowed to relax sometimes. Life doesn’t always have to be about work. It’s the same word that I kept repeating to myself over the last week as I’ve taken the kids for a walk to the park in the middle of the afternoon to enjoy the amazing weather we were having. I’m allowed to take time to play with my kids. The other night, I even went to sleep… without ever having touched my computer, checked my email or done any work all day. (Trust me, this doesn’t happen often!)
Here’s the thing about me. I work hard. I work long hours. I take on too much. I know that these are “faults”, but these faults are never more apparent then when they are repeated to you from the mouth of your three year old. Ella’s said to me on more than one occasion that, “I can’t do that right now mommy, I have work to do.” I know these are the words that she’s heard from me all too often. So I made a choice. I’m learning to stop taking on too much. I’m learning to say no. I’m learning to put boundaries in place. I’m learning that it’s okay to play.
So last night as I was just about to start making dinner, Ella said to me, “Mommy, can we please make some muffins for daddy? Some chocolate muffins?” I thought why not? Out came their chairs and aprons, and we made “little chocolate cakes”, one of Eric’s favourite deserts. My two little helpers reminded me that it’s okay to allow myself to not work all the time. To enjoy the moments. For this, I am grateful.