Valentine’s Day is a week away and in spirit of our contest, Sarah, from Prenatal to Parenting, has written this post for us!
As parents we often forget that our relationship with our partner needs our attention and energy in order to stay healthy. But with young children to care for, never ending laundry, dishes and house work, and for some, work outside the home, it is easy to allow our relationship to take the backseat to a whole list of other priorities.
This month, with cupid’s love energy in the air, I wanted to share some tips for making the magic last after becoming parents. Read on for a few quick tips to bring the focus back to your relationship and keep that flame alive even when you feel like sleep is the new sex.
1) Turn Towards Each Other – We all make ‘bids’ for connection and attention, they can be as subtle as, “Wow look at that sunset,” or as clear as, “can I have a hug?” How you respond to these bids really matters. Turning towards by listening, responding, asking questions, showing interest and love helps our partners feel valued and important.
2) Ask open ended questions – As parents it can be difficult to find the time to focus on our relationship, to really talk and connect. Sometimes we let it go so long that we don’t know what to say. Becoming a parent brings so many changes; within ourselves, our roles as both parent and as partner, our values, our priorities, and our dreams. So it’s important to get to know each other all over again. Take the time to ask questions and discover the people you have become.
3) Make Intimacy a Priority – It’s easy to allow the passion and romance to dissolve in your relationship when you are in the thick of parenting young children. Let’s face it, sleep is often more appealing then sex. Making sex a priority is important for couples in order to keep the magic alive. It doesn’t have to be all candle lights and rose peddles. It can be simple, spontaneous, or even scheduled! Research shows that “turning towards each other” described earlier, is the key to romance and intimacy.
For many couples, it was friendship that brought them together and at some point romance followed. The friendship was the foundation upon which the relationship was built. Once we become parents, it is common for our relationships to change and when we allow our relationships to take the back burner often our friendships fade and our relationship begins to feel weaker or strained. We can get that magic back by bringing the focus back to our friendship. In short, happy couples are friends.
Thanks Sarah! Happy Thursday 🙂