Ever have those moments of clarity, where you realize there is only a limited time in your day and certain things just need to be more important than others? That was me this morning.
One of the goals that I set for myself this year is to carve out some time for me to do a workout. I set up a schedule, with the first few weeks just doing my work out three mornings a week and then as I get stronger, I’ll add more workouts to the list. On Wednesday morning, I woke up later than planned, as I’d been up with the girls in the middle of the night, but I figured I still had time to squeeze in my work out before we needed to get started on our day. As I was walking down the stairs, I must have stepped the wrong way, because my feet came out from under me and I landed hard on my tail bone. As I sat on the stairs, cursing a little and catching my breath, I knew I had a choice to make. I could give up and crawl back into bed or I could continue with my plans for a workout. I continued with my plans. As the day wore on, I got a little bit stiffer and it certainly hurt to sit, so I called to see if I could get in to see Cherise, the cranio-sacral therapist that I take the girls to. The appointment was set for the next day. That night, I went to bed early and when I woke up the next morning, it hurt so much to move that I felt like crying… but Ella had swimming lessons and I needed to get to my appointment. I pushed through the pain and did what needed to be done. After my appointment, I felt a lot better, still a little sore, but at least it wasn’t to the degree that I felt like crying every time I needed to move or pick up the girls. The rest of the day went smoothly and as I crawled into bed last night, I set my alarm to get up to do my workout this morning. Then Tehya was up for two hours in the middle of night, so when the alarm went, I simply turned it off and went back to sleep.
As we got up and started our day, this lingering feeling of guilt settled over me. In not doing my workout, even though I was still a little sore, and I was tired, and several other excuses that were running through my head, trying to justify my decision to sleep in this morning, I realized that the only person I was cheating was myself. No one else would care that I didn’t get up. No one else would care to hear the excuses I had to justify it. So again, I decided I had a choice. After the girls had breakfast, we all headed downstairs. I set up my mat, and one for each of my girls, and started my DVD. Part way through my workout, the phone kept ringing and Tehya decided that it would be a good idea to climb on me. I stopped, dealt with the phone, distracted Tehya and picked up where I left off. That lasted another 7.5 minutes, before Tehya wanted my attention again. I gave a big sigh and decided that the rest of my work out just wasn’t going to happen… but this was okay, for in that moment I decided that everything didn’t have to be perfect. That 18 minutes of my 22 minute work out was better than nothing. That I’d still done something. That tomorrow would be a new day and we could try again.
So as I’m sitting down to get my work done for the day and the kids are playing happily together in their playroom, I can’t help but feel a little happy. An “imperfect” life is beautiful, because it’s in those moments that you realize that you are always exactly where you need to be to learn the next lesson. That it’s time to let go of my need for perfection. That sometimes getting things 3/4 of the way there is okay. That doing something, is better than doing nothing!
If you’ve made it this far through my ramblings, Happy Friday to you! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.