I had a dentist appointment yesterday afternoon and when asked if there were any changes in my health since my last appointment, I stated the obvious, “well, I’m 6 months pregnant.” A little while later my hygienist asked me if I was having an easy pregnancy and if it was easier than my first. I immediately replied, “no, it’s been awful.”
This comment is very unlike me, as I don’t usually complain. I believe that if I stay positive about things, it makes it easier. However, the truth is it’s not been easy. I had awful “morning” sickness which would last throughout the day. I’ve had dull achy headaches that would make it hard to concentrate. I’ve had hip pain, sometimes to the point where it’s incredibly painful to walk, let alone pick up Ella. Despite my best efforts, I’m not able to sleep more than about 6 hours at a stretch. My hands have been swollen enough for the past two months that I can’t wear my wedding rings…and don’t even get me started on my feet! Most days I’m lucky to be able to squeeze them into my flip flops at the end of the day.
Sexy, aren’t they? I used to have ankle bones, but they seem to have been lost somewhere… If you find them, could you please send them back to me?
I sometimes look at this list of complaints and think – it really wasn’t any easier with Ella. The hip pain was worse but everything else has been about the same. For me, pregnancy has not been kind. So why did I choose to do this all over again? Why is it that most days, I just shrug when someone asks me how it’s been and usually reply “It’s been okay” or “It is what it is.”
Surprisingly, these are easy questions to answer. Having been down this road before, I know that the next 12 weeks will go by quickly. I know that the symptoms that I’m experiencing will pass with time. I know I will eventually get my feet back. BUT most of all, I know that the reward at the end of this journey is pretty amazing.
To be a parent is to know unconditional love. There’s nothing better than being out for a couple of hours and coming home to be greeted with “OH, OH, OH, dat’s mommy home.” To have Ella come running to greet me and excitedly tell me about her adventures. To get the great big hugs and kisses. I know that no matter how “unsexy” I feel right now, it won’t take me long to get back into shape. My body may never be the same as it was before I had kids, but than again, neither is my heart. It’s fuller that I ever thought possible and for this I am eternally grateful.
So yes, there are times when it’s awful… but all I need to do is look at my beautiful daughter, and know the reward is coming. That it doesn’t matter if I have a boy or a girl, he or she will be welcomed with love and our family will be complete. That in the end, the few months of “suffering” will have all been worth it.
Happy Thursday 🙂